It’s commitment ceremony time! This one hopefully becomes a lesson to not dull your shine for someone, because Selina and Ella both started off as bubbly and full of energy and have become defeated shells of themselves thanks to men who don’t seem to even like them and definitely don’t appreciate them.

We get eased in with Sam and Al, who seem really happy. Sam loves that Al is so authentic and just always Al. Al really is the standout star of this season and probably the whole show tbh.

Matt and Kate are up next. Matt talks about how he immediately felt sparks with her and gushes about her. This really makes no sense cos from what we see, she has the personality of a wet sock who wants nothing to do with him. She inexplicably chooses to stay, cos I’m not sure who her target audience for followers would be. I can’t imagine her becoming the next Jessika Power.

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Anthony and Selin are up next, and he points out about how she finally drove him to the point of anger and to stand up for himself. He writes leave to go be with his daughter, and Selin, in all her class, writes “I’m done!”. Lovely. I’m sure Anthony’s DMs will be blowing up with interested women making a point to say “they’d be happy to be a stepmother!”, while Selin is hanging out with her new bff, Holly (I saw some pics of them together on the weekend and whatever the polar opposite of FOMO is, it made me feel like that. No thank you, I’d rather be at Kmart while my son has a meltdown over us not buying him the same toy he already has at home.)

It’s time for Mitch and Ella, which is meant to come with a “shocking confession”. They start off with saying “they’ve” decided Ella will move to Queensland. Ella says she’s toned down her energy to not scare Mitch away and just never dialled it back up. The experts (including new expert Dom) pry it out of her that she doesn’t feel good enough for Mitch (???)

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Mitch starts crying and we all think, oh wow, maybe he’s not actually as bad as we thought and just didn’t realise what his behaviour was doing to Ella. The experts let him off without much of a fuss. But nope, even though he chooses to stay, he announced to camera that he’s going to “take a break” from the relationship cos Ella made him look bad.

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Brent and Tamara have had a better week and are having fun, Olivia and Jackson keep connecting on deeper levels, Dom and Jack have moved on from their unflushed toilet fight. Nothing much to see here.

Jess and Daniel are next on the couch. Jess decides to leave, which is certainly the right thing to do… but just as she thinks she’s escaped, Daniel throws a curveball and write stay, and WE ALL KNOW WHY!!

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And on that note, Dion and Carolina are up next. She says they’re stuck on a friendship level, and he talks about how much fun they have together dancing and seems pretty hopeful. Not gonna lie, Dion is a lot more likeable than I expected him to be, and I like that he isn’t dulling his shine so his partner will accept him.

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I didn’t know that last one, how funny!

Finally we’re onto Selina and Cody, which is pretty hard to watch. Cody talks about how he has no empathy and doesn’t comfort Selina when she gets upset, and instead of calling him out on his repeated behaviour, “expert” Mel decided to call out Selina instead, and keeps hounding her about what shethinks she’s done wrong. Seems like Mel has some kind of weird crush on “Codes” and is punishing Selina for making him look bad. She just wants to get out out of there and writes leave, but Cody has other plans, writing a “shy stay”. Which, seriously, why are you prolonging her misery? While the experts just appease him indulgently instead of calling him out? Didn’t think I’d say this at the start of the episode, but petition for Dom to replace Mel as an expert!

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Image credit: Nine