I would’ve LOVED to be in the room (field?) when British Archaeologists discovered a 2000yr old dildo. Can you imagine a group of highly educated individuals standing around a giant wooden schlong trying not to giggle? Amazing.

The lifesize Roman pleasure stick was discovered in a ditch near the Roman fort of Vindolanda alongside a heap of shoes and dress accessories, so imma assume this lady looked AND felt good on a daily basis.

As The Guardian explains, if it wasn’t a sexual implement the object may have been a pestle or a feature from a statue people touched for good luck, but like… come on!? Newcastle University archaology senior lecturer Rob Collin’s says “I have to confess, part of me thinks it’s kind of self-evident that it is a penis” and honestly same.