There are several levels of pettiness, but we think this one slides neatly into the top bracket: A company in the US is offering scorned lovers the chance to quite literally tell their exs to eat a dick this Valentine’s Day.

And before you start getting all uppity about our use of literally here, we mean it; Dicks by Mail packages up teeny, tiny gummy penis lollies for your posting pleasure.

Oh, and you can do it anonymously, because the only thing better than unleashing every feeling of betrayal, hate and anger festering within you is to do it on the anon.

Basically, you pay up the $20 or so, pass on your ex-boyfriend’s/ ex-girlfriend’s/ boss’/ postman’s address and just sit back and wait.

They’re get a delightfully wrapped box in the mail, which opens to reveal a packet of c*ck-shaped candy and a heckin’ great sign telling them to “Eat A Bag Of Dicks”.


It really is that simple! How good’s the internet?

We’re just going to leave the company’s website here, just in case you fancy indulging your inner petty this Valentine’s Day.

We won’t tell if you don’t.

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