If you’re ever unlucky enough to find yourself in the position of being cheated on, you’ve got two options; you can either go full John Tucker Must Die, or you can take the high road.
So when this deadset legend discovered his wife had been sleeping with another guy, he decided to plump for the second choice – in the best possible way.
In a letter uploaded to Craigslist, the anonymous poster had a number of (not unreasonable) requests to the “Man Doing My Wife”.
“I am not angry, I would just like to ask a few things of you,” the hilarious list begins. “After all, you are giving it to my wife.
“1. Please stop leaving the seat up, I keep getting blamed and it is starting to get old.
“2. You may be giving me a chance to go fishing more often but please stop drinking all my beer. It is fine if you have a couple while you visit (God knows I drink plenty before I find her attractive) but please leave me a few as I have to be there longer than you.
“3. If you do drink the last one buy more or leave money on the counter, I will pick some up.
“4. Please replace the toilet paper when you use it all. For some reason my 5-year-old son believes if it’s not there he does not have to wipe. We keep it under the sink, unless you can recommend a better spot?”
And then it gets a bit gross.
“5. After doing my wife, please use something disposable to wipe off with. The basket of clothes on the right is mine and the clothes are clean as my wife does not do my washing, I run out of time rushing to work. Last week my sweatshirt was crusty (thanks).”
The super laid-back spouse also goes on to kindly suggest his wife’s lover stop telling his kids that he’s their uncle, to quit turning up the heat and to stop “eating the baked goods.”
We don’t think we’ve ever seen this much passive aggression in one place before. Well done, someone not called Jack S.