Last night could have very well been the (pre-recorded) first day of the rest of Bachelorette Sam Frost’s love life…. And after the debut episode last night, there were plenty of promising prospects… and some who seemed to just turn up to make numbers.
Here is how last night went down…
First of all, shout out, as always, to Osher. Praise you, your ever-glorious (if immovable) hair and genuine hope of Sam’s success in love. Bless.
Now, Sam. She was just as beautiful, radiant and down-to-Earth as is what we have come to expect of her. When she stepped out of the limo, it didn’t matter that we had seen it on repeat several gzillion times for promos – that red dress worked. Red because, LOVE guys… and roses. Like, the last rose Sam got from Blake Garvey in last year’s season of The Bachelor before he said, ‘I actually like the blonde girl who can bake cakes and I just proposed because someone told me to… Soz about it. BRB, just going to get fired on Celebrity Apprentice now.’ Or, something like that.
Sam was obviously devastated about this public dumping, and the first 10 or so minutes of The Bachelorette scenes was dedicated to reminding us that Blake was a love rat and Sam was hurt by him. Alright, now that’s covered, let’s get on with the boys!
It started off pretty solid. Plumber Dave was first out of the limo. He’s a handsome, very Aussie guy who just wants to find love and may or may not have split his pants getting out of the car. Then Alex (polite, British man) and Nipple Rash Dave who didn’t have flowers so stole them from The Bachelorette mansion. Smooth. Sasha really stole the show, though. Sam was all caught up in trying to be chill but openly admitting he knocked nerves right into her. He also made a serviette rose. Hot favourite to take out the win. There was also excitable, self-confessed annoying, Davey who no-one is really sure about yet.
Then things got weird…
Drew is a long-haired ‘Sleep Technician’ who brought an OWL. Someone else gave Sam a Frosty Fruit and a man named Shane wore his dad’s 1986 Hawaiian shirt and rode in on some kind of skateboard-y thing. Will says YOLO and also ‘ditty’ and was definitely unceremoniously friend zoned. He did sing her a song though, it was sweet.
Things went back to ‘Hell-lloo’ with Richie – works in gas, has breath taken away often. By Sam, not gas – and professional soccer player, Michael who Sam believes would have a ‘bangin’ bod.’ He does, we saw.
A recap post about the boys couldn’t end, though Suavey McSuavesvill David who can be summed up by his answer to a question that wasn’t asked. ‘Yes, *knowing smirk* I am an international model, obviously.’
Catch episode two of The Bachelorette tonight on TEN at 7:30pm AEST
Missed last night? Watch it here