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The Magic Faraway Tree Gets A 21st Century Makeover

It’s 2017 and The Magic Faraway Tree isn’t the same.

Jo, Bessie and Fanny barely have any time to go and explore the various lands at the top of the enormous oak; their mums REALLY aren’t happy with letting them out after dark, and they have location settings turned on on their smartphones at all times.

Plus, Bessie has her Mandarin and clarinet lessons, Fanny has standing appointments with her nutritional therapist and Jo is really committed to finishing Pokémon Go.

The world has changed SO much since Enid Blyton first wove her innocent, magical tales of the Land of the Faraway Tree that we can only imagine what else the movie is going to have to update...

The Faraway Tree Is About To Get The Chop


Quite literally. There are high-rise apartments going up left, right and centre to deal with the local housing crisis, and it's only a matter of time until the poor tree gets the ol' heave-ho. Talk about paving paradise. There WAS talk of keeping the Faraway Tree as part of a sanctioned green area, but zoning loopholes got in the way. The only hope is for a couple of well-meaning protesters to sit in the branches   

You Can't Actually Get NEAR The Tree


As IF you could get near a magical bush that transports you to surprise - and often dangerous - lands without Occupational Health and Safety getting involved. You'd need permission slips from the kids' parents, you'd have to set-up some kind of customs area to monitor if anyone is bringing anything illegal back home and, let's face it, SOMEONE would have sued by now. 

Security Is TIGHT


Welcome to the age of technology, people. There's no more wandering into the Faraway Tree, oh no. Moon-Face, Silky the fairy, The Saucepan Man, Dame Washalot, Mr. Watzisname and the Angry Pixie are DONE with the influx of entitled millennials into their home, so they've decked the Tree out with thumbprint and eye scanners. You can't blame them, really.

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