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That's Not A Love Song

They may sound all lovey-dovey at first, but don't be fooled these ain't no love songs. Once you know why, you'll never listen to them in the same way again.

These are the top 10 faux love songs to keep off your V-Day playlist.

10. The Police - 'Every Breath You Take'

Kicking things off with this little gem, which is actually about an obsessive stalker. Sting has said " I think it's a nasty little song, really rather evil. It's about jealousy and surveillance and ownership."

If anyone ever dedicates this one to you, run for the hills, change your number and while you're at it better get a restraining order too.


9. The Turtles - 'Happy Together'

Aw 'Happy'. Nope. There's nothing to be happy about here. According to songwriter Gary Bonner, who co-wrote the song with Alan Gordon, the song is about a love that is one-sided. Listen to the lyrics carefully, reeks of desperation.


8. Billy Idol - 'White Wedding'

This song is actually about discouraging someone from getting married. "It's a nice day for a white wedding..." Oh I get it Billy, you're using sarcasm, you tricky devil you.

7. Bruno Mars - 'Marry You'

'Marry You' has quickly become a wedding favourite, but, now this is going to get awkward, it's more about getting drunk and having something to do, than making a life-long commitment to the one you love. Think first 'The Hangover' movie.

Please don't play this at your wedding unless you're planning on filing for divorce shortly after.

6. Pixies — 'Here Comes Your Man'

Sure the beat may be uplifting and the chorus sounds like the story of a girl waiting for her boyfriend, but they're really singing about “hobos traveling by train and dying in a big earthquake in California.”



5. Birdy/Bon Iver - 'Skinny Love'

Just because it sounds romantic, doesn't mean that it is. Bon Iver frontman Justin Vernon explains that "skinny love doesn't have a chance because it's not nourished... the old haunting love, is that interferes with your future loves, and can damn and/or ambush your relationships."

Not the kind of song you'd want to slow dance to with your beau.


4. U2 - 'With Or Without You'

“My hands are tied, my body bruised" Doesn't exactly paint a picture of romance, does it?

3. The La’s - 'There She Goes'

Sounds like a catchy, lovely little ditty but sorry to burst your bubble, this one's about heroin.

2. R.E.M. - 'The One I Love'

If you can get past the first line of this song “this one goes out to the one I love,” then listen carefully to the lyrics, pretty sure your special someone wouldn't appreciate being referred to as “a simple prop to occupy my time”.

Never goes down well.


1. Whitney Houston/Dolly Parton - 'I Will Always Love You'

WHAAAT! NO! SAY IT ISN'T SO! Yes it is a love song, but in this one the couple don't live happily ever after.

File this one under the break up songs.


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