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Self Love Tips: How To Pretend You Have Your Shit Together

Monday's suck. Even if nothing particularly bad happens, Monday's are somehow still truly the worst and that's the tea. 

To start your week off right and try to combat the inevitable, here's a Fake It Til You Make It guide to pretending you have your shit together.

Buy that $4 coffee.

Nobody wants to fuck around with the instant coffee powder and the rank mugs in the work kitchen because we all know Kevin doesn't rinse it out properly, the nasty dude. Treat yourself to a rich roast at your local and splurge a little. 


Bring a water-based moisturiser with you and put it on whenever ya feeling a lil crusty. Or get yourself a water-based mist spray and give yourself a spritz. A fresh face is a fresh mind and you can definitely set aside a few seconds to freshen up.

Find a NATURAL scent you like.

Natural scents are super cleansing for your system. Find a scent you like that you can carry with you i.e. basil leaves, lavender springs, lemon myrtle, orange zest, eucalyptus leaves, vanilla pods etc. 
Stuff a couple of those in your pocket and although some people are gonna think you're carrying around shit and debris, give them a sniff when you're feeling like you need a little pick me up.

Put ya pencil to paper.

Pencil. Not pen. Put down ya ballpoint and pick up your HB2 and feel a little connected to what you're doing. Idc what you write - a poem, drawing of something phallic, letter to your mum... go crazy but there's something about putting a lead pencil to paper that is really soothing.

work your way through the uber eats SELECTION.

A lot of people fall into an order-in rut. Selecting something new off the Uber Eats app makes you feel a lil bit cultured and that's always a good thing. Instead of being a garbage person and hitting up your same burger and fries, opt for some dumplings. 

Scroll through shitty insta inspo quotes

Now, some are RIDICULOUS and need to be gone forever but there are some gems, I promise. One that has total lockscreen potential is "If it's not gonna matter in 5 years, don't waste more than 5 minutes being angry about it" (That's not to say you can't spend your full 5 minutes going bullshit crazy, you do you)
Sometimes we need gentle reminders in the form of a shit inspo quote tile.


Or mother figure. You're gonna feel 10x more accomplished in life and in your soul if you give the ol girl a call. Just say hi, tell her you still love her and that she makes the best lasagne (even if it's garbage, she'll love it) Promise.

This isn't gonna solve all your problems but it's a good placeholder until someone figures out this whole adulting thing. Also, have a bath, this doesn't get it's own section because people should know to bathe but whack on a scented candle and play a good album. It'll feel so goooood. Soothe your mopey Monday blues, go ahead.

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